Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Hello, again!

“Are you still writing your blog?”

This question came up in conversation the other day.

“Yes! Of course,” I quickly responded, not thinking much of it. It was only when I got home and thought about it that I realized that it had been almost a whole month since writing a post! How in the world has time gone by this quickly?

And so, as I write this on December 1, I’ve realized that November was really a month of silence.

For the first time since beginning the adventure of blogging, I actually didn’t post anything for an entire month. As I sit here at the beginning of one of my favourite months of the year, with little flutters coursing through my stomach as our little baby begins to move in ways I can experience, I feel like I need to let out an enormous sigh, exhaling with it all of the ups and downs of November.

Perhaps it was better I didn’t post. I might have taken you on the roller coaster ride with me unwillingly. You might have experienced flip-flops in your stomach and tilt-a-whirls that you just weren’t ready for.

But then again, you might have cried with me. And you might have laughed with me. Perhaps by falling silent I actually missed the opportunity to share, explore and reflect. Perhaps you missed the chance to recognize that you aren’t alone in the ebbs and flows that November brought for you.

Now, please don’t think that I hid away in the month of November. I certainly had a lot of conversations about various things, learning and growing as I went. But hindsight is always 20/20 and I am realizing that stepping away from this blog also allowed me to step away from being vulnerable. Writing words that I know will be shared is perhaps the most vulnerable place I put myself in and it is a shame that I would shy away from that in some of my most vulnerable days. And so, once again I learn.

Before 2016 comes upon us in full force, I need to remember that being vulnerable when life gets messy actually allows others to come alongside and walk with me for a time. Perhaps things are messy for you too right now. Maybe you are stressed beyond belief, unsure how this exam season will go and desiring to simply snuggle up with Netflix and avoid the assignments, classes, and tests that reside ‘out there’. Maybe you are in a place of decision making, unsure of what to do next.

Whatever the mess, know that I am right there with you, hand in the air, admitting to the craziness. In the midst of it all, I am choosing to keep pushing forward and doing things that may not be comfortable and might actually be vulnerable. I encourage you, challenge yourself. Stay vulnerable. Let others into the mess. Yes, you might get hurt. True, others might not be able to understand. But I bet that there is someone else out there whose life looks a bit messy too.

Here’s to December! A month dedicated to a posture of expectancy, excitement and joy. A month where I will choose to write, once a week, because I know it is good for me to be vulnerable. So, how about you? Where will you open yourself back up? Perhaps it is to go to the gym, or that new outfit you aren’t sure about, or actually inviting people into your not so perfect home to share a meal. Don’t avoid it, embrace it. Let’s be messy together.

1 comment:

  1. So you are saying I should be messy and vulnerable and risk getting hurt because......?