Saturday, 5 September 2015

Expand Yourself



A few months ago Brandon and I participated in a personality inventory. As a student of psychology, I was all for the never-ending questionnaire, excited for the results to tell me something new and exciting about myself. To no surprise, when the results came in, Brandon and I found that we had many similar qualities in our personalities. We both appreciate others being upfront, we both like to be validated and affirmed, and of course, we both like to lead.

As we read through the various pieces of ourselves that this test discovered (some more accurate than others) we noticed one glaring difference.

Decision-making.

Brandon likes to think through his choices, ensuring that he has an understanding of the various outcomes and then preceding with some caution. I, on the other hand, tend to throw caution to the wind, making a quick decision with complete confidence that it is the right decision.

You can see how this might become frustrating for us on either end.

I become impassioned, desiring to see change and big ideas come to pass quickly whereas Brandon likes to slow down. We can begin this push and pull process of speeding up and slowing down in our decision-making as a couple.

It would certainly be my tendency to assume that my way would be the best way to make a decision. Full steam ahead. No time like the present. Jump in with both feet.

Regret being so rash later...

As Brandon and I have spent the summer making various decisions and as we look to our future and see many decisions ahead, I am recognizing the holes in my decision making process.

I am learning the importance of humbling myself and recognizing that my way is not the only way to do things. As much as I hate to admit it, some of the quick decisions that I make would have been much better if I would have followed Brandon’s lead, stepping back and thinking things through a bit more.

Sometimes it is a relief to remember that I do not know everything and I do not do everything right – and I don’t have to.

And neither do you.

Maybe you are a bit of a perfectionist. Maybe you take pride in having everything together. Maybe you look to others who take a different approach with disdain, thinking that if they only could do it your way they would be much better off.

I encourage you to step back and see what you might be able to learn from someone else. Look to the other. Try a different approach. Perhaps this will bring you to a place of expanded understanding, an understanding that you could not have reached if you simply continued doing things the way you are naturally inclined to.


Because although a questionnaire asking the same questions in various ways might give you insight into your life, it doesn’t tell you that your way is the best way. Look for your blind spots and be willing to expand.

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