“And
you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your
mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater
than these” (Mark 12:30-31).
On most mornings
the first person I interact with is Jillian Michaels. No, she doesn’t
physically drop by my house and start yelling at me to keep going in my
workouts (although this might be helpful). I voluntarily drop her exercise routine into my DVD player and endure
thirty or so minutes of her fitness expertise. At the end of the workout, I
typically rush through the cool down and stop the video before she can get into
her little motivational speech that she gives as you stretch out those quads.
But yesterday, I did something different, I sat cross legged with her and
listened to her talk about how we are so good to others and yet don’t take the
time to be proud of ourselves, to recognize our accomplishments, to pat
ourselves on the back.
Based on my
typical hast in quickly turning off the DVD and rushing to the next thing that
the morning will bring, it seems that she is right.
Throughout the
gospels we are called to love others, in fact, Jesus specifically calls us to
love our neighbours as we love ourselves. Of all of the various commandments,
ways of living, and things we are called to do, he deems this the greatest
along with loving God with everything we have.
It seems that the
topic of the self is running rampant in studies, media, and thoughts about our
generation. There is a focus on self-esteem, self-worth, and narcissism. There
is a fear that the focus of self will lead to a selfish generation, a ‘me’
mentality, and an inability to serve others well.
This is not the
type of self-love I’m advocating for.
As sin has overwhelmed
all of humanity, there is a deep-rooted need for redemption, a redemption that
is found through the death and resurrection of Christ. It is in our brokenness
that God brings wholeness. It is in our doubts that God brings faith. It is in
our inability that God brings his miraculous grace.
It is in humility that God enables us to see how he sees us, allowing us to love ourselves well.
It is about
reclaiming the love of self in its proper form so that we are able to love others deeply and
sustainably. We will only be able to serve well if we love and are confident in
the strengths that we have. It is not about being egoistic but rather taking
the time to fill ourselves so that we can pour out to others.
God is not simply
calling us to love others; he is calling us to love ourselves.
For many of us,
we love others in spite of our lack of love for ourselves. In one breath we
tell others how much we love who they are while in the other we are pulling
ourselves apart. We jump to consol a friend who is stressed, telling them to
take a rest and yet we push ourselves to keep going at an uncontrollable rate.
We lavish compliments on a friend and yet never give ourselves credit for going
the extra mile.
The difficulty in
this calling is that many of us love others but fail to love ourselves, leaving
a shallow, perishable love that causes us to feel worn down, empty, and frustrated.
So how do we love
ourselves without falling into the trap of pride, self-centeredness, and
narcissism? We need to have a pointed reason for our love. We love ourselves so
that we can love others well. We love others because God first loved us.
So take a moment,
be good to yourself; reflect on your strengths and the ways that you are
gifted. Think about what energizes you, what makes you flourish and then take
the time to participate in these things. Perhaps, for some of us, we need to
reclaim how we love ourselves so that we can love others in the deepest and
richest way possible.
Go ahead, give a little love to yourself, but don't stop there...
Give a little to yourself, so you can give a little more to others.
Favourite post so far.. something I needed to hear. Thanks Emma!
ReplyDeleteEnded up here on the internet and curious to what this blog was. Once I read this it made me feel at peace with my self. Reopened my eyes to something that was already there. Which was forgotten under the pressure of my own life and others. Glad I read this. Thanks.:)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that this could impact you in some way...thanks for stopping by!
Delete